Bullying Prevention Month: Is Television Making our Kids Mean?

I wanted to share some news about a study about what kids are seeing on television every day.  Meanness.

Kids are surrounded by verbal and non-verbal mean messages.  When I look back on my childhood, bullying definitely existed but when I went home from school, we watched Leave It To Beaver, or Father Knows Best.  At the very least, kids were exposed to shows that made it clear that there was "right and wrong."  As corny as those shows were, they were entertaining to us and they reinforced the messages of making good choices.

According to an article in the Deseret News:

Researchers examined 150 television episodes of the 50 most popular television shows for children, ages 2 to 11, as ranked by Nielsen Media Research. They noted socially aggressive incidents that targeted self-esteem or social status through gossip, mean facial expressions and/or friendship manipulation. Such incidents, they found, occured once every four minutes, or fourteen times per hour.

We can offer great programs in schools but when kids go home and turn on the TV or if their siblings are allowed to bully them, it's almost mission impossible.   Most of us receive messages by what we see.  What they're seeing is that you get power if you're mean.  Think about it,  most shows, even if they're geared towards elementary school-aged children, have an edge.

As parents, we tend to ignore what they're watching, especially if we think it's something safe and made for kids.  My advice is to watch every show with them at least once.  If it's not sending the right messages, bring it up.  Make them critical thinkers.  Sometimes television can be a great tool to talk about issues they might be facing in school...but beyond that, don't let them get a steady diet of shows that don't represent how you want them to behave.

Our focus is so much on schools but they can only do so much.  Of course, we all have to step it up a bit and take more responsibility, but that includes Hollywood, too.

I miss "The Beav!"

Geotagging Is One More Reason To Know What Kind of Technology is in Your Children's Hands

Geotagging! Obviously, this has nothing to do with my regular topic of bullying or cyberbullying but it has everything to do with online safety.

It's something we have to be aware of when we give children cell phones. To be honest, I worry that we, as parents, don't know enough about the technology in our hands and/or in the hands of our kids. Sometimes when I talk to parents about online safety, I get that deer in the headlights look as if to say "this is too much to figure out. When it comes to cell phones, computers and social networking, I just have to hope for the best."

I must admit that I've been one of those parents. Even when I read about geotagging in the NY Times, I thought, "Oh no, not ONE more thing to worry about. Do I really have to worry about this today?"

It's Friday, so I promised myself that sometime over the weekend -- maybe over pancakes -- I'm going to make a game out of figuring out how to turn off the app. If there isn't a way, then the carrier has to be called or visited. This is only slightly better than getting a root canal but it's somehow going to be better in the end. At the very least, it will make me feel like less of a chump for having some big wig tech exec take away one more aspect of our privacy. (By the way, have you ever noticed how tv producers and tech people make decisions like there are no children on the planet?)

Pass the syrup and the phone.

Bullying and Plastic Surgery

I'm not sure how I feel about this. How about you?

Years ago, my first reaction would be, "This is ridiculous. Kids should be happy with what God gave them. Blah. Blah. Blah." I thought that way until a friend opened my eyes several years ago. We worked in media together and we were watching a similar story about high school-age girls and plastic surgery. I was unaware that his sister had gotten a nose job when she was a sophomore. Thank goodness I didn't say what was on my mind. He said that people criticize girls who get nose jobs because they don't know what it's like to have a nose that people make fun of on a constant basis. In other words, walk a mile in her shoes before rushing to judgement.

It made me think. At that age, teens are very aware of the "pretty" factor. There's no way around it. Every tween and teen knows how important it is to look good -- or at least feel like you look good. Remember when getting a pimple could make you want to stay home?

The problem with this story is that I actually think both girls looked beautiful even before their surgeries. In these cases, is it bullying or is it feeling very sensitive about looking perfect?

I'd really like to know what you think.