Bullying: A Big Complicated Problem with Many Simple Solutions

If each one of us untangled one string at a time...
Showing posts with label James Jones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label James Jones. Show all posts

Friday, October 8, 2010

Bullying Lesson: PR Professional/Dad Stepping Up To Help Another "Average" Dad in Crisis



You’ve seen the story of James Jones and the infamous tirade on the Orlando school bus. Here’s another -- and inspiring -- part of the story.
There are three lessons to learn from this episode:
1.) Never flip out on a school bus. You might embarrass your child. You might embarrass yourself. You might end up in jail.
2.) If you do make a mistake, sincerely apologize.
3.) Never forget that there are good people in the world who, whether they’re asked to or not, step up.
It’s the third lesson that hasn’t been covered.
In the case of Mr. Jones, he found a friend in an Orlando public relations professional who was minding his own business until he saw the story first break on the local news.
As a father himself, Ryan Julison had to step in. He knows all too well the power of the media and wanted to volunteer his time to help Mr. Jones both protect his reputation and turn this potentially damaging situation around to help others in a similar position.
Most people don’t understand how time consuming it is to help someone through a crisis, especially when it involves the media. In this case, the crisis was caused by bullies on a bus who wouldn’t let James' daughter and a friend alone. Ryan knew that if Mr. Jones didn’t have the opportunity to use this as a teachable moment for the nation, than the young bullies won and a basically good father could be destroyed.
So Ryan stepped up and offered to help the Jones family and fortunately, James Jones has been able to speak on behalf of so many frustrated parents. Bullying is heart-wrenching and can push a parent to the brink. It inspires rage and often clouds our judgment.
It’s almost gratifying to see that Mr. Jones instantaneously had thousands of supportive fans on Facebook. It seems that an overwhelming number of people identify with his need to protect his child. With Ryan’s help, James is also helping the Pacer Center, a leading organization in bullying prevention and organizers of this month’s Bullying Prevention Awareness Month.
Thanks in part to Ryan, there is more dialogue and more empathy towards those parents up against a system that doesn’t listen to what kids are going through, whether it’s on a school bus, in a schoolyard or online.
Ryan Julison didn’t have to step up. He could have gone about his business and not donated his time in a bad economy. But he did. He’s by no means an expert in bullying prevention but simply a PR professional who doesn’t need a psychology degree to know the power of compassion.
When asked if he would do it all again, Ryan answered:

Without question, I would do it all over again. I feel I am the one who has truly benefitted from my relationship with the Jones family. I've seen the true love and admiration of a family leading a modest life filled with challenges. We could all learn something from them, not just about bullying, but life.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

When Parents Are Pushed to Protect Their Bullied Young

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By now, almost everyone has seen this story. If you've ever had a child bullied, it's hard not to sympathize with Mr. James Jones. His lack of self restraint is hard to watch and not the way to handle things, but the raw emotion behind it is heartbreaking and understandable.

We've also heard his apology and plea to other parents to handle this situation differently. It reminded me of another bus story of a parent warrior. Darlene's a dental hygenist with two children. Her youngest daughter was repeatedly harassed in middle school. With a studious and quiet personality, her daughter found it impossible to stick up for herself. The school was notified multiple times for three years but it didn't stop...until Darlene took things in her own hands. A very risky move. On the way back from a school trip to an amusement park, she stood up in the bus, told the kids she knew they were bullying her daughter and to stop, and then asked them to show more kindness. That takes guts but I thought it was a bad idea.

What if the kids made things worse after Darlene's speech? What if they laughed at her? What if the other parents on the bus were not supportive? Mother and daughter were desperate. What's amazing is that 12 year-old Tricia encouraged her mom to stand up. She had gotten to the point that she didn't care what the other kids said. She had nothing to lose. What a sad statement in itself.

Darlene had a plan and she kept her cool (no unfortunate expletives)...and it worked. Would I ever do it? Not on your life. I'd be too afraid of the repercutions...but it just shows you how desperate and angry parents can feel and how they'll walk over hot coals for their kids. At the very least, she knew her daughter would know how much she cared and how she would risk negative consequences to stick up for her.

It can't get to this point. The kids on the bus in Orlando should have been stopped way before there was this type of problem. There are busses full of kids at this very moment that are out of control. Busses, playgrounds, hallways and cafeterias are the hot spots for bullying.

Here are some resources that offer solutions for these specific danger zones.

Peaceful Playgrounds

School Safety: Mentoring Program on the Bus

Olweus: School-wide, including classroom, cafeteria, playground

It's amazing how desperate a parent can feel when their child is demeaned. Amazing but not surprising.