Facebook Is OK for Kids: LOLJK

You're a fat pig. LOLJK*

You're so gay it makes me sick. LOLJK

What's wrong with you? LOLJK

You smell. LOLJK

What kind of outfit is that? Loser. LOLJK

You are soooooooooo stupid. LOLJK

Want to be my friend?

Over 7.5 MILLION kids under the required minimum age of 13 are on Facebook, according to a recent Consumers Union study. According to this article in the LA Times, parents with children on Facebook and under the age of 10 do not even "friend" their child on Facebook.

If you are one of those parents, I would really like to hear from you why this is ok. Are you certain that your child or your child's "friends" aren't saying stuff like this online? Are you sure it's a child talking to your child?

I hear from parents that their kids tell them "it's not fair" that they can't get a Facebook page. What's really not fair is to put kids in sophisticated situations before they're able to handle it. In all honesty, 13 is even too young.

The LA Times brings up a several key points:

For minors who lack the experience or judgment to use a social network, this raises the scary potential of sexual predators tracking down kids who reveal their age in an online chat, cyberbullying and more.

“A million kids were bullied on Facebook in the last year," Jeff Fox, technology editor at Consumer Reports, told FoxNews.com upon the release of the study. "A 10-year-old is not well-equipped to deal with those things.”

"Friending" your child isn't the complete answer, either. What do you do when you "friend" and you don't like what you see? Do you take your child's page down when you don't like what the other kids are saying? Are you sure an adult isn't posing as a child? When do you step in?

I do believe that kids need to learn how to handle social media but that is best done on sites that are kid-friendly, like Yoursphere, and others. And even then, it's only ok if it becomes a "teachable moment" and you sit next to them and guide them. How did you teach them how to cross the road safely? Did you stay in the house reading a magazine and tell them to come and tell you if they got hit by a car?

*LOLJK: Laugh Out Loud Just Kidding

Step up parents. This is no laughing matter. Your kids are hiding behind their LOLJKs. And who's hiding behind the kids?

Every School Has a Bullying Issue. So now what?

Let me put it this way, it is highly unusual when a school doesn't have a bullying issue. The national statistic is about 30% of kids in schools say they've been bullied. After I conducted a survey in a local school (with 4th-8th graders, actually) it was, surprisingly, 30%. I say surprisingly because this is a well run school with "nice" kids.

What I thought was cool, is that the principal didn't hide from that number. She is a confident administrator who didn't get defensive. She said, "Well, then let's do something about it." My hero!

The challenge was two-fold. It's not just the "what," it's the "how" on a limited budget.

What are the goals?

• to focus on early prevention

• to engage all students in the building

• to make it positive and to empowering

• to engage teachers

• to engage parents

• to make it sustainable

• to build a foundation for growth

• to promote friendship and respect

• to provide multiple opportunities to repeat positive messages

• to make it fun and effective

Was it possible to accomplish some of these goals...with very little money?

Impossible!...until One came along.

The book is ageless and beautiful. It's message of standing up for one another resonates with children of all ages and adults. With One as the foundation, we built a One for All Leadership Campaign where the upper grades mentor the younger children by reading and working on activities with their "buddies."

Although Ms. Otoshi is extremely busy and lives across the country, she kindly designed a t-shirt for the partners to wear when they get together to talk about what it's like to Be the One. They're a team.

I highly recommend this approach. It's about prevention for the little ones and it's a teachable moment (literally) for the older students, who are quickly becoming fantastic mentors.

It's sustainable because there are other books, too, that are great tools. Kathryn has even come out with a sequel called Zero.

Obviously, it's not the whole answer. Training for the administration, teachers and parents is key and still has to happen...but it's a start. And starting somewhere is much better than standing still. One string at a time.

By the way, money for training and programs should not be the stumbling block. Organizations like National School Climate Center and Pacer have FREE training tools. But If states are passing bullying prevention laws that require training -- New Jersey being one -- hopefully, money will be attached. Parochial and private schools need training money, too. I'm just saying...