P.S. 45 Takes "Respect For All' Seriously All Year Long

Visiting Staten Island's P.S. 45 (John Tyler School) inspired me.  (For those reading this outside of New York City, P.S. stands for Public School.)

Every student in this elementary school participated in an awesome kick-off  assembly honoring Respect for All Week.  The students were led in a special reading of Kathryn Otoshi's book Zero by a group of their peers involved in the SOAR program.  (To facilitate character building,  New York State Senator Andrew Lanza sponsored One Can Count in all the elementary schools in his district.  Multiple copies of One and Zero were provided to each school.)

According to guidance counselor and SOAR mentor Libby McPike,

SOAR stands for Safe Organized Attitude Respect. It's our school wide positive behavior model. Kids follow these expectations and when caught doing well, can be rewarded with eagle dollars (eagle is our school mascot). Then they shop in the SOAR STORE for items anywhere from erasers to DVD players (all run on donations). 

P.S. 45's approach to teaching respect and character education is one more example to me that "leadership is the anti-bully." And sometimes teaching leadership takes a bit of creativity. Ms. Libby and her students have plenty of that to share. Here's just a snippet of the kind of activities that this dedicated professional and the students she mentors have developed to engage the entire school -- staff and students alike -- in the empowering messages of kindness, tolerance and respect. 

Monday: 

Wear Purple: Purple is the color of good judgment. It is said if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. Purple is a good color to use in meditation. Purple has been used to symbolize magic and mystery, as well as royalty. Being the combination of red and blue, the warmest and coolest colors, purple is believed to be the ideal color. 

Activity: Good Deed CatalogIt goes without saying that it’s important to teach kids to do nice things for one another. During Respect for All Week, keep a running tally of good deeds that students perform. These can include helping clean up, consoling a sad classmate, sharing, helping out a friends, etc. Tell your class that if they reach a certain number of good deeds for the week, they will receive some sort of prize (Ex. Lunch with the teacher, homework pass, Good Deed Certificate, Etc.)

On the day I visited, the gym it was an enthusiastic sea of purple. 

After reading the book, the group of SOAR students (as young as 3rd grade) led the entire school in a question and answer session based on the themes of Zero, including "What does it mean to have a hole in your middle?" and "How did it feel to have the other numbers step up?".

5 Things I Learned at P.S. 45

•    A thoughtful, creative and enthusiastic administration is the foundation for promoting high quality character education.  (A shout out to principal Ms. Chavez and parent coordinator Mrs. Poli who allowed me to be there and so graciously welcomed me to their school.)

•  It's a worthy commitment to create an environment where leadership is part of the culture year round.

•  Helping students develop leadership skills such as public speaking gives children confidence and confidence is the key to resilience.

•  When students are expected to listen to each other and value each person's opinion, they rise to the occasion.  (Note:  Amazing how many students were eager to be a part of the question/answer session.  The students obviously felt safe to share their opinions with a gym full of their peers.)

•  The students had fun.  Teaching children to step up helps children SOAR and it's never boring.

(Speaking of "stepping up," Ms. Libby went the extra step and wore purple shoes!)

Teaching leadership and respect takes a lot of hard work.  Mentoring children is exhausting and never a perfect process.  For those reasons, I am deeply grateful for the fine professionals at P.S. 45 and other schools around the country who hang in there every day and give it 100%.  You deserve a parade.

Thank you.

Getting Creative and Teaching Leadership at P.S. 55

Students are learning that One Can Count at P.S. 55 on Staten Island.

Fifth graders are the experts as they partner with the Kindergartners to reinforce the message, "Everyone Counts."  After reading Kathryn Otoshi's award-winning book, One, the mentors got together with their younger counterparts to lead them in an activity that demonstrates that everyone is unique, beautiful and valuable.  (One is an ageless children's book which beautifully and simply inspires kids -- and adults, too -- to step up for themselves and for others.)

A One Can Count team of teachers and staff came up with the idea of doing something seasonal that expressed the importance of respecting each other's differences.  As the partners created their own snowflakes together, the students had fun getting to know one another as well as crafting something that they could display with pride.

There are so many positive things about P.S. 55's efforts.

Using a Simple Tool

NYS Senator Andrew Lanza provided 30 copies of One and 30 copies of it's companion book, Zero, to each elementary school in his district on Staten Island.  Inspired by the book and the gift, P.S. 55 set out to ensure that each student received their own personal copy of One.

Mentoring

The message of One is for all ages but when you make the older students the teachers, they take ownership of the concepts of kindness, empowerment, and positive action.  There are countless benefits of mentoring but perhaps placing students in a leadership role is the most powerful.  Leadership is the Anti-Bully.

Staff Involvement

When administration, teachers, guidance counselors, parent coordinators and other staff members get together to promote leadership, it's a message to students that they're important.  In essence, it demonstrates leadership and students learn by example.

Enthusiasm

Think about it.  Children learn more when they feel emotionally safe and when they're having fun.  The fact that Kindergartners have a friend in the 5th grade is a big deal.  Add to that, the time spent doing a creative activity brings joy to both.

Compassion

Empathy is easier to teach when students are asked to look out for someone younger.  Compassion helps students become "upstanders," the secret weapon against bullying.  When kids step up for one another in mean situations, the bullying stops in seconds.

Hats off to Principal Sharon Fishman, Guidance Counselor Arlene Donnelly, staff members Juleah Bracker and Julia Lucchese and of course and most importantly, the brilliant students at P.S. 55.  Getting creative and teaching leadership helps create a school climate of cooperation.

In other words, P.S. 55 itself is like a snowflake -- unique and beautiful.

One and Zero: Early Bullying Prevention

Dear Principals, Teachers, Superintendents, Parents and Anyone Interested in Children,

My bullying prevention tip is very fitting for today's date:  10/10, which coincidentally falls within National Bullying Prevention Month.

If you have young children or you teach young children, you'll love the award-winning book, One, and it's companion book Zero, by Kathryn Otoshi.

These books beautifully express the power of stepping up and the importance of feeling whole in your center.

They were so powerful to me that I reached out to Ms. Otoshi and we created One Can Count, which consists of materials and simple activity suggestions that support the messages of respect and leadership.   As a matter of fact, New York State Senator Andrew J. Lanza recently sponsored One Can Count in all 30 of the public elementary schools in his district.  St. John's University hosted the workshop for principals, teachers, counselors,  parent coordinators and graduate students.  As a community we came together to discuss solutions and to focus our attention on encouraging leadership skills at an early age as the anti-bully.

If you want your community to benefit from One Can Count and have questions about how to cost effectively introduce the books and materials into your school districts, contact me at thetangledball@gmail.com.

The equation is as simple as this:

Books + Free Materials + T-Shirts =  Opportunities to Encourage Leadership 

"Sometimes it just takes One."  

Thank you for being a One.

Sincerely,

Susan S. Raisch
Founder of Tangled Ball

What's Your Excuse for Not Having a Bullying Prevention Plan?

Tangled Ball would like to clear up a few misconceptions for all elementary schools who are reluctant to step in when it comes to bullying prevention. (Prevention being the key word here -- meaning taking measures so something doesn't happen.)

This is what it isn't:

• It's not admitting that you have a problem.

• It's not taking away from "teaching" time.

• It doesn't have to hurt your budget.

• It doesn't have to be a "downer."

First, bullying happens at EVERY school and starts young. That is in no way blaming the school. Schools are full of people -- small and big -- who come with their own personalities and their own learned behavior. Bullying happens. No guilt necessary, unless, of course, you don't recognize this basic fact and step up to help dial it down.

There are countless of creative ways to introduce bullying prevention messages in core curriculum. If you want some suggestions, just email me at: thetangledball@gmail.com!

• There are great free resources out there for schools and parents.

• It can be empowering and fun and positive. As a matter of fact, when you start prevention campaigns as early as Pre-K and upwards through elementary, it better be somewhat fun or it won't stick.

So to all those great principals out there who put their own ego aside and say,

Heck, yea, this is a problem and I'm not going to sit by and pretend it doesn't happen. I'm going to at least try to send the message in school that everyone counts.

A toast to you! You're awesome and the kids in your care are lucky. (I have to give a shout out to Mrs. Theresa Signorile at Our Lady Queen of Peace on Staten Island. She's a great example of stepping up for her students. The smiling happy kids in the picture above are part of the OLQP Leadership Campaign. The Be the One project includes the entire school and it's focus is to create a partnership between upper and lower grades to teach respect. Respect is the anti-bully.)

If you're a parent reading this, assist your school by doing a little research and helping the administration and teachers organize and implement a bullying prevention plan. Schools can always use an assist.

PTO Today is a one of the good resources out there supporting the parent/school relationship. It's a win-win.

And if you're a parent or principal and you're reading this and rolling your eyeballs and saying, "This is delusional. None of these things are going to solve the problem." You're half right. The problem will probably never be solved per se, but it may improve, and if a handful of kids don't end up carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders because you made an effort, is it still worth it? I'll let you answer that yourself.

Every School Has a Bullying Issue. So now what?

Let me put it this way, it is highly unusual when a school doesn't have a bullying issue. The national statistic is about 30% of kids in schools say they've been bullied. After I conducted a survey in a local school (with 4th-8th graders, actually) it was, surprisingly, 30%. I say surprisingly because this is a well run school with "nice" kids.

What I thought was cool, is that the principal didn't hide from that number. She is a confident administrator who didn't get defensive. She said, "Well, then let's do something about it." My hero!

The challenge was two-fold. It's not just the "what," it's the "how" on a limited budget.

What are the goals?

• to focus on early prevention

• to engage all students in the building

• to make it positive and to empowering

• to engage teachers

• to engage parents

• to make it sustainable

• to build a foundation for growth

• to promote friendship and respect

• to provide multiple opportunities to repeat positive messages

• to make it fun and effective

Was it possible to accomplish some of these goals...with very little money?

Impossible!...until One came along.

The book is ageless and beautiful. It's message of standing up for one another resonates with children of all ages and adults. With One as the foundation, we built a One for All Leadership Campaign where the upper grades mentor the younger children by reading and working on activities with their "buddies."

Although Ms. Otoshi is extremely busy and lives across the country, she kindly designed a t-shirt for the partners to wear when they get together to talk about what it's like to Be the One. They're a team.

I highly recommend this approach. It's about prevention for the little ones and it's a teachable moment (literally) for the older students, who are quickly becoming fantastic mentors.

It's sustainable because there are other books, too, that are great tools. Kathryn has even come out with a sequel called Zero.

Obviously, it's not the whole answer. Training for the administration, teachers and parents is key and still has to happen...but it's a start. And starting somewhere is much better than standing still. One string at a time.

By the way, money for training and programs should not be the stumbling block. Organizations like National School Climate Center and Pacer have FREE training tools. But If states are passing bullying prevention laws that require training -- New Jersey being one -- hopefully, money will be attached. Parochial and private schools need training money, too. I'm just saying...

Tangled Ball's Marathon Man

Today's Tangled Ball Award goes to someone who's stepped up and stepped in...for 26.2 miles!

Peter Raisch ran the full Chicago Marathon on 10-10-10. The date to motivate.

A 26 year-old pr executive in Madison, Wisconsin, Peter has been the social media mentor for Tangled Ball since its inception. Yesterday he took his commitment one step further. Or should I say thousands of steps further when he ran in the boiling heat wearing a Be the One Tangled Ball t-shirt.

The message of Be the One is based on Kathryn Otoshi's award-winning book, One, which teaches kids to step up for each other. While Peter was running through the streets of Chicago, Kathryn was in California officially launching her second book in the series, Zero. Zero is a winner, too, because it beautifully reminds children that everyone counts.

One and Zero make a perfect ten in reaching kids early with the messages of respect, compassion, kindness and self worth, so what better way to celebrate One and Zero than a marathon run on 10-10-10?

Thanks, Peter, for going above and beyond the call of duty to motivate others. Not many people would have done what you did. That makes you an upstander! (But maybe you should be told that tomorrow. It's probably really hard to stand up today.)

10-10-10: A Perfect Score for Early Prevention

What a perfect day to talk about two perfect books that help young children learn how to treat each other.

Kathryn Otoshi’s One and her new book Zero are brilliant…and simple…and ageless…and powerful.

Using only numbers and colors, One and Zero drive home the point that it just takes ONE to make a difference…and EVERYONE COUNTS.

Elementary schools around the country have been using One in the classroom to get across the lessons of diversity, kindness, compassion, upstanding behavior, character and bullying prevention.

One is equally suited as a foundation for leadership campaigns that bring older kids together with the younger ones as mentors. By reading the book together, teaching the lessons themselves and developing activities that reinforce those lessons, both age groups benefit.

Zero is new and has as much potential to make a difference. It speaks to our inner doubts about our worth. Zero is upset that she has a “hole in the middle.” Doubt turns to exuberance when she figures out that it’s not a hole, it’s a CENTER…and when she teams up with the other numbers, she not only has value, she also adds to everyone else’s worth. In other words, EVERYONE COUNTS.

So Kathryn Otoshi, you deserve a Tangled Ball Award because catching kids early is our best bet…and having fun at the same time is a real bonus.

ONE and ZERO: A Perfect 10 in Bullying Prevention

But overall he liked being Blue...except when he was with Red.

One, by award-winning author Kathryn Otoshi, is brilliant. Although it's a children's book, it's message is ageless. When it comes to making a bully stop...

Sometimes it just takes One.

Part of it's genius is that it never says bully. It never says target...or even bystander. It's about colors that turn into numbers and realize that they count...just like One.

Reading this to 14 year-olds is as powerful and effective as reading it to 5 year-olds. Adults get it, too.

And GOOD NEWS! Kathryn has written a sequel. ZERO is about learning to believe in yourself and realizing your worth.

But how could a number worth nothing become something?...
Zero rolled up to the numbers. "I've thought of a way for us to count even more!" she said....
And this time when she looked at herself, she felt whole...right in her center.

These two books make it simple to teach the complicated concept that everyone counts. Sometimes it just takes One...and Zero.

Bullying Prevention: I Can See Every Single Kind of Possibility

Re: Michael Buble's "I Just Haven't Met You Yet" video: this actually happened to me in a grocery store once. No kidding. The band, the confetti, the whole thing.

Seriously, though, the line in the song "I can see every single kind of possibility" is so great, so happy, so hopeful. Good sentiments for a new school year. This should be true for everyone.

Here's a challenge. See every kind of possibility for every child. Even kids that aren't your own.

Kids should not be laughed at, left out or be on the receiving end of mean text messages. Rumors should not be spread and every one should count.

Speaking of that, a new book by Kathryn Otoshi, brilliant author of the children's book, One, is coming out in September. One is about the power of stepping up. Her new book, Zero is about the basic need to count.

Both of these books should be in every elementary school. And I actually wouldn't stop there. No one should feel like a Zero and it only takes One to make sure that happens.