Elementary School Graduation and Teaching Gratitude

My husband and I call this the "Season of Clapping." Between graduations and awards ceremonies, your hands start hurting.

It can also be a season of gratitude and a good time to teach kids to be thankful for the people in their lives.

As part of the Be the One leadership program at Our Lady Queen of Peace School, students in the older classes mentor the younger children on messages based on Kathryn Otoshi's award-winning book, One.

The eighth grade mentors the second graders and it's been a good partnership. They've read books, played word games, created Venn diagrams, decorated ornaments together and in general got to know each other while building a relationship of respect.

It seemed a good idea to use the eighth grade graduation as a time to teach gratitude...and who said these lessons have to be boring? As a farewell, the second graders organized a surprise party for their older counterparts. On a day that the eighth graders were off campus, the second graders went to work making cards and signs and practicing "You've Got a Friend in Me."

In the process, we were able to talk with them about gratitude. They talked about what made their Be the One partner special.

(When the seven-year olds were asked how we should fool the eighth graders in going to the party, they suggested things like, "Tell them Jesus is in the gym," or "Tell them to come look at the two-headed bird.")

When the big day came, the second graders hid on the stage and when the curtain opened they yelled SURPRISE! The eighth graders genuinely seemed happy in a "I have to still look cool" kind of way.

They ate cupcakes and drank juice and did an activity together. Using a template of a shamrock, they were asked to wish four things for each other. One of them said, "I wish you could come to high school with me to hang out."

Understanding is the anti-bully. Gratitude is the anti-bully. Really getting to know a person that you didn't know before is the anti-bully. Listening to someone younger than you and remembering what it was like to be 7 is the anti-bully. Having someone look up to you -- hanging on every word -- can be a life saver.

Introducing these concepts in the early years is One of the ways we can change the culture of mean.

Teaching Empathy and Bullying Prevention

My last post talked about the elementary school "One for All" Leadership campaign. It's simple goal is to have older kids mentor younger children. It's not the whole answer by a long shot but it's one of the answers in creating a more positive school climate. Although the older grades are asked to teach the younger ones lessons in friendship and respect, the overriding lesson is compassion.

You can't talk about compassion. You have to demonstrate it. As the "buddies" get to know each other, they learn to listen to each other. Why is this so important? Because some types of bullying make kids feel invisible. No one should suffer with the feeling that they're not important enough to be seen.

Why do we need to teach young kids empathy?
According to an article in Time Magazine's August issue, How Not to Raise a Bully: The Early Roots of Empathy:

Increasingly, neuroscientists, psychologists and educators believe that bullying and other kinds of violence can indeed be reduced by encouraging empathy at an early age. Over the past decade, research in empathy — the ability to put ourselves in another person's shoes — has suggested that it is key, if not the key, to all human social interaction and morality.

Someone commented on the post that a leadership campaign is "good in theory" but there are "mean teachers and mean kids out there." I agree with three quarters of that comment. Meanness is the enemy and that's why this fight is worth it. If part of the answer is making sure that there is someone in the building that "sees" each child, it's worth a shot. Building compassion takes a lot of effort. It doesn't happen overnight but the benefits get passed along for generations. It's also fun and we could all use a little of that every day.

The most surprising part of seeing these partnerships in action? In the process of helping to build self confidence in the younger kids, sometimes it's the older kids that benefit the most. When a first grader looks up to them as an eighth grader, it doesn't matter if they're the most popular in the class or if they were just ignored at lunch. All that goes away at the moment when a 6 year-old thinks you're the coolest thing on earth.