After the Bully Movie

Bully premieres in New York and LA today. (Actually in about 20 min. in NYC.)

I worked with Lee Hirsch (director) and Cynthia Lowen (producer) during the development phase. Actually, it was just the three of us at the time. (My background is television publicity but ever since Columbine, I have had a passionate interest in this issue...because it's not really an "issue," its an irrational crushing of young hearts.)

Now that the film is out, my thoughts go to "what happens next?"

When you see it (and if you're on this blog, there's a good chance you will), you'll be shocked, saddened and I hope inspired to do something.

For those of you reading this and already working in the field -- Thank You. I know it's been hard to be heard. I know it's been hard to raise money and get your message out there and your tools in the right hands. Regardless of discussions on ratings, I know the movie will help the world pay attention so that resources will become more available. You deserve support.

But what do you do as an individual when you walk out of the theater? You'll almost hope that you're in a position to help a child feel less isolated and hurt.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON is in a position to help.

Here are just three of the ways we can all jump in (and more to come):

• Realize that the movie camera has the advantage of doing closeups and gives us a clear picture of the pain in a child's eyes and confusion on their face. Be the camera. If you feel a child may be having a hard time, don't wait for them to tell you (because most don't). Let them know you actually "see" them, ask questions and then listen without judgment and without overreacting. Strategize together.

Bullying Stops In Ten Seconds When Someone Steps In. Be the Upstander.

• If your child is of school age, consider helping the school raise money for training. Every adult in a school building should be trained but they often don't have the funds. No one ever talks about the money. We can't blame schools until we've helped them get help.

• Care about other people's kids. There are a few ways to do this. If you have children, make sure they're not being the bully -- offline or online. (Kids will be kids...but that's what teachable moments are all about.) Step up when you see another child being mistreated or talk to your own children about how to step up in a way that's comfortable for them. Compliment them when they do.

And finally, Be the One Go-To Adult. If you are interested in early prevention, download the certificate and letter to use at school, girl scouts, boy scouts, after school programs, etc. It's free and there are tips on how to be a person that saves a child from the long tail of pain that bullying causes.

As I finish this post, the movie has premiered. Let me know what you think and how I can help you make a difference.

Sometimes it just takes One.

"Bully" and the R Rating. What do you think?

The MPAA denied Bully, the new documentary by Lee Hirsch, a PG-13 rating. Katy Butler, a high school student in Ann Arbor, Michigan is responsible for gathering over 200,000 signatures on a petition to the MPAA to ask them to reconsider. The R rating was given due to language.

Seems that everyone is talking about it (including Ellen DeGeneres) but I'd like to hear from parents and teachers of middle and high school students what you think.

You Won't Forget The Bully Project

The Bully Project premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival this past week. Since I had been involved with the film in its early stages, I took my 17-year old son to see it. It got a standing ovation.

It got a standing O for a couple of reasons, I suspect. First, it's an outstanding piece of cinematography and the audience of film lovers probably appreciated the talent of director Lee Hirsch. But above and beyond the beautiful camera work, the subject matter and the subjects themselves -- a handful of families and kids deeply and sometimes tragically affected by bullying -- took your breath away. You wanted to crawl into the screen and hug the kids and their parents and beg the misguided school administrators to stop talking and tie back the hands of the bullies on the bus.

It got to everyone. We sat in the front row but you could tell how deeply affected the audience was by the gasps, jeers and the constant sniffling that comes with tears.

This is a brave film, not only from the standpoint of the director's work but also by producer Cynthia Lowen's ability to convince the families of the bullies that this needs to be seen. Although there are definitely villains and victims, I applaud the Sioux City, Iowa school system for being the ultimate brave souls in this film. It reminds me of ABC's Hopkins 24/7 that aired several years back. As I worked on the promotion of that groundbreaking documentary series, I couldn't help but be in awe of Johns Hopkins Hospital for letting the country inside a very reputable -- but not perfect -- hospital. I feel the same way about Sioux City. It's a sacrifice to be vulnerable.

So if you're interested -- which there's a good chance you might be if you're one of the caring souls that follow blogs like Tangled Ball -- go to their facebook page or The Bully Project web site. We can figure this whole tangled mess out together.

The Bully Project

I defy you to look at this trailer for The Bully Project and not understand that our kids are suffering.

Sometimes it's hard to walk into a classroom and be able to identify who, along with their backpack, is carrying this heartache around with them.

Is it necessary? I really don't think so and if you don't think so, either, consider making a donation to this film. I'm thrilled that the White House hosted a bullying summit. I have confidence that good things will come from that meeting...but I think this documentary will make the biggest positive impact to date. FYI: The Bully Project will be featured at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 23rd.

We need to untangle more strings faster because at the core of this tangled ball mess of an issue, is the heart of a child. We can either stand by and watch it break or we can step in and make sure it remains whole.

The Bully Project and All the Families Affected by Severe Bullying

The Bully Project will be featured on tonight's 20/20 on ABC at 9/8C.

Award-winning director Lee Hirsch and co-producer Cynthia Lowen were featured in a Tangled Ball Award post at the beginning of the month. I think the Long family and all the others featured tonight and in the film deserve one, too.

Tune in but grab some tissues first. Then go for your wallet and contribute to this film. As a country, we have to engage more people in creating more solutions in this escalating and damaging issue. A film goes a long way to help. Let's honor all the families who will never be the same.

Seriously, we can all do SOMETHING.

We won't be sorry we stepped up.

The Bully Project

Some are Waiting for Superman. I'm waiting for The Bully Project.

Award-winning filmmaker Lee Hirsch's The Bully Project is a labor of love and promises to expose the true nature of bullying. Lee, and co-producer Cynthia Lowen, had unprecedented full access to the schools in Sioux City, Iowa and have travelled the country following stories and talking to the families of kids pushed beyond the brink.

A documentary goes a long way in making people pay attention. To fix it, you have to see it and feel it. Having been bullied himself as a child, Lee is determined to make a film that accurately portrays the pain it causes. The film will be accompanied by a thorough outreach campaign to maximize it's impact and to offer solutions to this insidious problem.

What's really admirable is that Lee and Cynthia set off on this journey before this rash of recent bullycide incidents happened and before the media started to pay attention. Their commitment has never wavered. The Bully Project is down the home stretch but like any good film, it needs financial support to hit it home. And boy do we need it now.

Want to donate? You won't be sorry. Go to IndieGoGo. It's really easy.

Even though they've been in the editing room 24/7, they were kind enough to answer the following questions:

After travelling and filming so many kids, what do you find is the most discouraging part of this problem?

I think the hardest thing about bullying is the scope of the problem. This is violence that crosses gender, racial, socio-economic boundaries, it is something that is found in every school in every community in the United States. After filming with four families who lost their children to suicide over the 2009/2010 school year, and in the wake of three more suicides just this past month, I don't think there could be a greater sense of urgency that this is something we have to start working to find solutions to. I think something else that is difficult about bullying is that when things get out of hand, it is often the failure of good people, who are trying their best, who don't necessarily have the tools they need to effectively deal with bullying, or who don't have the capacity to deal with the issue until there is a crisis, as has been the case with some of the communities who have tragically lost children to suicide. What we are in part trying to do with this film, is to give kids and adults the opportunity to talk about bullying and find solutions out of something other than crisis to positively effect change and implement great school climates.

What's the most encouraging?

One of the most encouraging things we saw over the course of this school year is the difference one person can make in the life of a bullied child, and that kids who are empowered to intervene in bullying situations have a huge capacity to make the conflict stop. While the scope of the bullying problem might seem huge, a big part of the solution is creating school climates and a broader sense in our culture, that it is not okay to stand by and watch someone be bullied, and that every child and adult has the power to effectively intervene and prevent it from taking place.

Agreed. And one film can make a HUGE difference. We need The Bully Project. It will save young lives and spare families.

Head's Up: Lee will be interviewed tomorrow morning (Monday, Oct.4th) on CNN's American Morning (show airs from 6-9am). Check it out.

Who's tomorrow's Tangled Ball Award winner?
Hint: School climate is where it's at...and this group is getting us there. They're "upstanders!"

Bullying: My Name is Alex...

Currently in production, The Bully Project is the first feature documentary film about bullying. Bullying numbers are big: over 5 million kids per year get bullied; over 160,000 per day don't go to school because they're afraid, more than half of the kids online say they have been harrassed.

But numbers are numbers. Here are some of the faces.

When problems are so big, so tangled, so insidious, it needs a powerful film to get people out of their comfort zones and create change. I know the kids featured in the film would appreciate your help, as well as the other 4.999 million kids who are suffering due to peer abuse. It doesn't make sense to let this continue.

Some of us feel like this problem is so big that we can't make a difference. Here's how each one of us can make a statement about helping kids and protecting their physical, mental and emotional well being. Go to IndieGoGo and donate: The Bully Project