Being Called 'Fatso' Seared My Soul: Mayor Koch

Gay teens -- or teens and kids perceived as gay -- get bullied often and brutally. It's horrible and needs to stop.

No doubt about it.

But there's another group of kids that can't seem to escape it either. Ironically, it's another three letter description -- Fat -- or perceived as "fat"-- in our "size 0" society.

I don't think kids who get teased for their size get as much support as other kids. The list of mean adjectives thrown at kids in the hallways, on the bus, in the schoolyard and online are endless. Fatso, lard ass, grotesque, etc., etc.

Can you imagine how hard it is to struggle with your weight and feel like you'll never fit in because you're not wearing those cute jeans, you're not comfortable in gym class, you feel like everyone is watching what you eat in the cafeteria and nobody wants to sit next to you on the school bus? Torture.

Recently, former NYC Mayor Ed Koch, released his new children's book, co-authored with his sister,Pat, Eddie Shapes Up, based on his experience as a fat child (his words, not mine.)

In an Oct. 7th radio interview with CEO and founder, Linda Frankenbach for fitsmiForMoms.com, Mayor Koch not only talked about his weight as a child but the burden of being bullied.

I was a fat kid, and when I was in the schoolyard, the other kids would call me ‘fatso,’ and I will tell you that it seared my soul.

He shared some words of wisdom for parents, and since he's 87, it demonstrates that these childhood experiences never quite leave you:

You have to encourage a child, never make fun of a child. Other children are mean-spirited and will make fun – that’s the nature of being a child. But a parent can’t make the boy or the girl feel additionally upset because they think you don’t love them because they’re fat.

My parents never asked me about being bullied. That was a private matter where I had to depend on my friends. But I think every parent should say to their child, let’s you and I be really close friends and share our secrets. Tell me, maybe we can help.

I'd like to add to that list. Don't let your child tease about someone's size. Overweight kids often pretend it doesn't hurt but there's no way hurtful comments that make you feel diminished are ok.

If you have a teen girl struggling with her weight...or if you're a parent of a child who is overweight, visit fitsmi.com and it's companion but separate site, fitsmiForMoms.com. Kids and parents need extra support -- not nasty comments -- when they're struggling.

Ask any overweight child why it's so hard to be bigger than the other kids. As Michaela McNutt,a young 11 year-old girl in Florida who lost over 50 pounds with the help of her mother and is now inspiring others to do the same, says:

I know the bullying, the teasing. And you can do this. It's not impossible."

Childhood Obesity and Bullying

In doing a little channel surfing today, it seemed like everyone was talking about childhood obesity and bullying. If you're an overweight child, you know they go hand in hand. Everyone from Rachel Ray to Dr. Oz to Dr. Phil mentioned this issue today. Although this post was written in September, I thought it would be an appropriate day to re-post this information. (Is that as bad as re-gifting??)

It's something to pay attention to for a variety of reasons. Kids who are overweight have long term emotional scars from the teasing, bullying and downright abuse of their peers.

That's a total bummer for kids with extra pounds. Physical AND mental health are at risk. It's also a total bummer for parents who worry about them.

Naturally, it's important for parents to take the reins and help their children with good nutrition and exercise. According to the Mayo Clinic: "Childhood obesity is particularly troubling because the extra pounds often start children on the path to health problems that were once confined to adults, such as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Childhood obesity can also lead to poor self-esteem and depression."

So speaking of self esteem and depression, what can be done about the put downs from peers?

No. 1: If you're a parent or any adult with kids in your life who are NOT overweight, don't allow them to call other kids Fat...or Tubby...or Blubber. Seriously, it's in the same category as saying "You're so gay." You may not think so, but just read the study and think again.

No. 2: If you're the parent of a child that's overweight, let this be motivation to you to start helping them with their health. It's hard, I know. Weight, like bullying, is complicated. It's a Tangled Ball. It's not just about restricting calories, it's about emotions which makes it one of the hardest parenting issues to handle. More often than not, there's a lot of frustrating baggage that makes it hard to help a child with a weight issue.

There's a site for teen girls who struggle with their weight called Fitsmi, as well as a companion separate site, Fitsmi for Moms. Fitsmi recognizes that girls need to have a safe place to be teens first. Girls with extra pounds have the same interests in fashion, boys, celebrities, and makeup as any girl (as well as sports, academics, etc., etc.). They just need a network of friends who know what it's like to be a plus size in a size 2 world. It's a place online where they're not judged and they can be honest. It's a source for good information, including tips on clothes and relationships as well as nutrition and exercise. (Boys should have their own site, too! But if you're a parent of a boy, advice on Fitsmi for Moms might still be helpful to you.)

Here's the key: no judging.

Nothing about this issue is simple, except this. Kids will bully kids who are overweight. (It's gotten out of hand. A child doesn't even have to be technically overweight to be teased by their peers.) When they do, they are stealing their childhood as well as risking their long term emotional health. It's our job as adults to stop it.

Emotional Weight of Bullying on Overweight Kids

Here's something to pay attention to for a variety of reasons. Kids who are overweight have long term emotional scars from the teasing, bullying and downright abuse of their peers.

That's a total bummer for kids with extra pounds. Physical AND mental health are at risk. It's also a total bummer for parents who worry about them.

Naturally, it's important for parents to take the reins and help their children with good nutrition and exercise. According to the Mayo Clinic: "Childhood obesity is particularly troubling because the extra pounds often start children on the path to health problems that were once confined to adults, such as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Childhood obesity can also lead to poor self-esteem and depression."

So speaking of self esteem and depression, what can be done about the put downs from peers?

No. 1: If you're a parent or any adult with kids in your life who are NOT overweight, don't allow them to call other kids Fat...or Tubby...or Blubber. Seriously, it's in the same category as saying "You're so gay." You may not think so, but just read the study and think again.

No. 2: If you're the parent of a child that's overweight, let this be motivation to you to start helping them with their health. It's hard, I know. Weight, like bullying, is complicated. It's a Tangled Ball. It's not just about restricting calories, it's about emotions which makes it one of the hardest parenting issues to handle. More often than not, there's a lot of frustrating baggage that makes it hard to help a child with a weight issue.

There's a site for teen girls who struggle with their weight called Fitsmi, as well as a companion separate site, Fitsmi for Moms. Fitsmi recognizes that girls need to have a safe place to be teens first. Girls with extra pounds have the same interests in fashion, boys, celebrities, and makeup as any girl (as well as sports, academics, etc., etc.). They just need a network of friends who know what it's like to be a plus size in a size 2 world. It's a place online where they're not judged and they can be honest. It's a source for good information, including tips on clothes and relationships as well as nutrition and exercise. (Boys should have their own site, too! But if you're a parent of a boy, advice on Fitsmi for Moms might still be helpful to you.)

Here's the key: no judging.

Nothing about this issue is simple, except this. Kids will bully kids who are overweight. (It's gotten out of hand. A child doesn't even have to be technically overweight to be teased by their peers.) When they do, they are stealing their childhood as well as risking their long term emotional health. It's our job as adults to stop it.