Another Kind of March Madness

March Madness is a great time of year for me. This past weekend, there was one upset after another. My favorite team, though, survived. The U of Wisc. Badgers are still in it. (Sorry Vanderbilt fans...and stay tuned on Thursday!)

But every time I look at the news about bullying this month, I feel like it's another type of March Madness.

On any given day there are a dozen tragic stories about kids reaching out and nearly screaming for help. It's also the month that Bully will premiere in theaters (March 30th) and the "R" rating issue rages on. Cartoon Network also premiered Speak Up, with a special message from Obama. Awareness of the pain that bullying causes is gaining traction. My background is television so I've been an advocate of getting this issue more mainstreamed in the media. And boy is it ever.

So just as in the rest of life, good and bad are happening at the same time and if we're to take advantage of the good exposure it's getting, we all need to take advantage of all the great tools out there. Let's start paying attention when our kids are little. School climates depend on the type of expectations we have for our kids to treat others with kindness.

Movies wake up the country...and it's the parents, teachers, friends...and anyone witnessing meanness that help preserve the lighthearted childhoods that every single kid has a right to experience.

Bullying stops in 10 Seconds when someone steps in to stop it.

There's hope.

White House Summit on Bullying: What Can We Do?

In President Obama's opening remarks at the White House Summit on Bullying, he said, "No child should feel that alone." That just about sums up why I'm involved.

In the closing remarks after all the true but tragic stories, the overwhelming statistics and expert advice had been shared, the audience was asked to ask themselves, "What more can I do?"

In answer to that question, I want to share with you what others are doing in the field of bullying prevention and online safety and who are dedicated to providing real help...but first, I want to share a couple of things I personally took away from the conference.

This is such a huge issue but I constantly come back to three things that I think are critical in making a positive impact:

• Early Prevention

Bottom Line: If we start very young -- PreK and up -- and create the expectation of respect, we have a shot at changing the balance when they get older.

• Parenting

Bottom Line: Parents are where it's at. Kids need to be prepared at home for social interactions. Parents can acknowledge and encourage their children when they treat others well and correct them when they don't.

• Bystander (or Upstander):

Bottom Line: When you think about it, the bystander is everyone. Compassion and leadership skills can be taught and we can teach kids how to step up for others in ways that are comfortable to them. (If you ask kids, they know that their peers make the biggest difference.)

If you want to start somewhere, there are so many resources. Stopbullying.gov was announced yesterday and there are others listed to the right. Not every community, school or home is the same so tailoring campaigns or materials to fit your needs is really important. In my community, I, along with the support of the principal and the help of other interested parents, started the Be the One mentoring campaign because it suited the needs of the school and it appealed to both the adults and the age span of the children. I also wanted it to be fun which is very key to holding the kids' attention (and mine, too!) It has created an infrastructure that allows parents and teachers to introduce curriculum they come across and activities that promote friendship and respect. As a matter of fact, next Tuesday, we'll be using some of the tools from Pacer's National Bullying Prevention Center. (I'll be posting more about their fabulous work next week.)

Best Advice from the Summit: My favorite was expert Rosalind Wiseman's advice to any adult on what to say when a child comes to them about being bullied:

I'm really sorry this happened to you. Thank you for telling me. I'll stand by you.

"What more can I do?" We can all help by sharing ideas and keeping the conversation going. Let me know what you're doing and I'd be happy to share it with others.

President Obama's Message and a Reminder of How Many Kids We've Lost

OK, so Tangled Ball had a different expert in mind to feature today...but he IS the President...and it's very important that he added his voice to this subject. I hope that ALL kids feeling relentlessly "put down" and suffering will identify with this message.

Kids are bullied not only because they're gay (or perceived as gay), but also because they're "fat," or too thin, have disabilities, are too pretty, not good looking enough, have red hair, are new to a school, too promiscuous, too conservative, too rich, too poor, or just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

We can all do SOMETHING. When in doubt, as adults we can do simple things like say, "You don't deserve that!" And repeat and repeat and repeat. Our outrage and empathy will go a long way to blunt the long tail of pain that bullying causes.

We can't stop every incidence. We can stop kids from feeling that being treated that way is OK. We don't have to wait for experts to tell us that kids need us to constantly tell them that they are very cool... and kids who put other kids down are knuckleheads.

Just a reminder of why this has gotten the attention of the White House and how much it deserves our attention.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Dear Mr. President, Please Make Susie Stop Calling Me Names

After Ziainey Stokes was being bullied in one school, she moved to another. It didn't help. She was still picked on.

One of the first pieces of expert advice to bullied kids is to "tell an adult." Ziainey was really sick of being harrassed so she did just that. The adult was President Obama.

It was a good choice for a couple of reasons. Who's going to mess with you when at any moment, the motorcade might pull up? Or instead of hearing your name on the loud speaker, you'll hear your name (but not in a good way) during the State of the Union address. Obama has said publicly a few times, including during his first interview after being elected, that "meanness" is one of his pet peeves.

Even though we're not in the White House (unless of course, Michelle O is reading this), we can still be that adult. Is meanness your pet peeve? If so, make some kid's day and step up.