Leadership is Igniting Good

Life is beautiful not because of the things we see or do. Life is beautiful because of the people we meet. -- Simon Sinek

Recently, I had the pleasure of listening to my son give a speech about leadership.  In his short remarks, he said that leadership is about interconnectivity, empathy and attitude.

Of the three, he emphasized interconnectivity which is really community.  We don't necessarily have to have research to tell us that we're social beings who need each other to be happy but there is plenty of it to support the obvious.  Feeling connected is one of our basic drivers throughout life. 

Happiness may be surprisingly contagious. Psychologist James H. Fowler studied the data of 5,000 people over 20 years and found that happiness benefits other people through three degrees of connection, and that the effects last for a year. He says: “We found a statistical relationship not just between your happiness and your friends' happiness, but between your happiness and your friends’ friends’ friends’ happiness.” (PBS: This Emotional Life)

 And staying connected enough to have empathy may be our biggest challenge as a culture.  It's one of the tangled strings in the tangled ball in our texting, friending and posting society.  

But here's the hopeful part (attitude!).  It's all evolving.  There are smart, empathetic connected people who know the value of Facebook, Instagram and all things social media but who are actively giving a generation permission to remember that now, more than ever,  we still need to get to know people face to face.  Adding to the quality of other people's lives adds to the quality of our own. 

It's fairly brave to swim in a slightly different direction.  To say it's ok to embrace something new but to pay attention to the thing that makes us click and makes us whole.  Purpose.

Here's to Ignite Good.  Check out their mission.  I dare you not to be inspired.

Inspiration at the 7-Eleven: #Leadership

When we tell people to do their jobs, we get workers. When we trust people to get the job done, we get leaders. -- Simon Sinek

I've been lucky enough to hang out in San Diego for the past month.  I have my new granddaughter, Lucy, to thank for keeping me out of the harsh NewYork cold.

My daily routine includes getting up early and going to the 7-Eleven on the corner of Beech and State to get a cup of coffee and it always includes nice conversation with the people working there.  For example, early Christmas morning, I happened to ask the cashier how his Christmas Eve had been and then he gave me the most spiritual description of Midnight Mass at St. Paul's Cathedral.  He was so peaceful telling me about the music and the lighting of candles.

It seemed as if he was totally in the moment and appreciating every aspect of life.  It suddenly dawned on me that if he was at Midnight Mass, he must have only had a couple of hours of sleep.  He happily told me that four hours of sleep was fine and he was able to get off in the afternoon to celebrate the holiday with his family.  Not one complaint.  Not one.

I don't know what it is, but every employee there is exceptionally nice.  They're not just nice to me. A handful of homeless individuals frequent this store -- begging outside on the corner before they go in. They are also treated with kindness.

It's gotten to the point that if I'm feeling a bit blue or sleep deprived, I look forward to going in there for a boost.  And it's not the caffeine because I only drink decaf.

It's a culturally diverse group of employees but they all seem to have one thing in common.  They know how to treat people and seem to be genuinely interested.

As I was fumbling around with the simple but complicated process of pouring that first cup, I asked the 20-something guy who was efficiently restocking creamers, if it was a good day.  "It has to be," he said.  I wasn't 100% sure of what that meant so he explained, "It's my choice to make it a good day and so it has to be a good day."  And by making it his choice, he made me aware that it was up to me, too.

As I was leaving, he said, "Have a good one."  And I replied, "Now I will."

Leaders work everywhere and do every type of job.  Doing a good job takes commitment and a positive attitude.

Good lessons for our children.  (And speaking of children, there's an awesome woman there who has 5 children, two grandchildren, and looks 20 years younger than her actual age and I think it's because she has an optimistic attitude!)

Look for leaders wherever you go.  You can even get inspired at a 7-Eleven.

Principals Have the Power to Encourage Leadership: The Anti-Bully

Leadership is not a rank or a position. Leadership is a service to be given. -- Simon Sinek

Leadership comes in all sizes, shapes, colors, and ages.  That's the message being given at P.S. 23, a wonderful elementary school on Staten Island that I recently had the privilege to visit.P.S. 23 takes leadership seriously.  As part of The Leader In Me program, each student from Kindergarten through 5th grade is taught the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen R. Covey.Often when I walk into a school and see motivational messages on the walls, I think, "that's really nice"...but do they actually promote this to the students in a more meaningful way?  Well, I got my answer during the assembly that I led about One Can Count. (Thanks to Senator Lanza for making One Can Count available in Staten Island elementary schools.) When I asked questions about respect and stepping up for one another, I got answers like "Seek first to understand and then be understood."  Or "it's about trust."  These are sophisticated concepts for such young students, but kids are smart and when you treat them like they are, they rise to the occasion.Before the principal, Mr. Paul Proscia,  introduced me, he spoke with the children first.  He set it up by reminding them that they are all leaders.  (By the way, he was not talking to them like children.  He was talking to them like intelligent adults in the making.   It was a sea of little faces but their brains were active and engaged.)  He is helping them change the perception of leadership by explaining that leaders are everywhere --  as construction workers, business people, police officers, teachers, nurses, cafeteria workers.  "The president is a leader but you don't have to be president to be considered a leader."

Sound simplistic?  It's not.  These are messages every 5 year-old and up needs to hear in school.  Each child needs to be seen, heard and given the feeling that their unique personalities and talents make them leadership material.

At P.S. 23, they are given the opportunity to be leaders, including being a "Leader of the Month."  The rubric that decides if you get this honor is not based on grades.  It's based on showing respect, helping others, academic effort and using their talents in productive ways.

Mr. Proscia made One the Book of the Month for the entire school.  Before I even made my visit, they understood what the book was about.  It's about stepping up.  It's about being yourself.  It's about inclusion.  It's about leadership.

Why should a school make leadership and social emotional learning a priority?  The children do better in school.  That's it.  Bottom line.  They become their "best self."

Sometimes it just takes One.  

P.S. 23 is a One.