The Fat Boy Chronicles: Obesity, Bullying and Teachable Moments

Have you heard of The Fat Boy Chronicles?  The book, co-written by authors Michael Buchanan and Diane Lang, both former award-winning teachers, is based on a true story of a bullied obese ninth grader.  It doesn't matter how old you are, you're transported back to high school.  I swear that you can almost smell the cafeteria and feel that old familiar knot in your stomach when the main character, Jimmy Winterpock, talks about gym class.

(I guess I shouldn't speak for everyone when I wince at the memories of gym, but my high school nemesis, Erin, made gym a living hell for me.  I'm embarrassed to say that when I heard she hadn't faired too well in adulthood, I wasn't surprised or heartbroken.  Small of me, I know, but I'm human.)

Through Jimmy's English class journal entries, we get a realistic peak into what high school is really like for an obese teen.  Obesity is the #1 reason kids are bullied but I think any kid who is perceived as "different" in any way, can relate to The Fat Boy Chronicles.   The movie inspired by the novel masterfully tells Jimmy's story and is perfect for school and community screenings.  Curriculum is also available.

The creators of The Fat Boy Chronicles have embarked on a new project:  Boxes.

The premise:  Everyone has worth.

They're looking to raise money to see this project off the ground.  I'm going to donate because their mission makes sense to me.

Just in case you're interested, here's more info:



If you're a teacher, principal or counselor, you may want to use The Fat Boy Chronicles in your school in September (National Obesity Awareness Month) and/or October (National Bullying Prevention Month.)

Tragedy, Teachable Moments and Empathy

I couldn't bring myself to write a post over the weekend.  I was stunned and sickened and saddened at what happened in Aurora, Colorado.  I'm sure you were, too.

Like everyone else, I'm not sure how to process it.

The only thing I can say is that we won't know what provoked this but we do know how we should react to it.  With empathy.  Deep and genuine empathy.

This is the tricky part.  How do we talk about it with our tweens and teens without scaring them but using it as a moment to help them understand that these were real people and that it's not just a news story?

When I begin to worry that our country is becoming immune to other people's pain, I think of Karen Klein, the grandmother who was heartlessly bullied on the bus by middle school students.  When the video went viral recently, so did the sympathy and support.  It was announced today that the vacation fund for the school bus monitor, started by a stranger from Canada, was closed at $700,000.

Bad things happen...and in the case of Colorado, horrific things happen.  In the case of Karen Klein, parents all over the country and even internationally, were using this as a teachable moment.

In the case of the Aurora shootings, it's not an easy fix.  We can't send someone on vacation and make it all better.

But what can we do?

This article by teen expert and psychologist Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D, gives us a little guidance on how to talk to our kids and how to inspire them to reach out.

Empathy is the anti-bully.

(Is your flag at half-mast?  President Obama has asked that we put our flags at half-mast until sunset on July 25th to honor the victims.)

The Green Eyed Monster and Bullying

There was a Berenstein Bears book that I used to read to the kids called "The Green-Eyed Monster," and it's about jealousy.

Jealousy can cause people to act in crazy ways and I suspect that it is one of the main emotions behind some bullying.  It's one of those emotions that causes the tangled ball to become more complicated because people and even kids are often skilled at covering the jealousy with emotions like anger and intolerance.  When a person is jealous they will do anything to pull the other person down.  Anything.  And sometimes, they're so good at it, that they get others in on the act and watch out.  The target has no chance.

By the time the bullying is in full swing, no one realizes that it started with jealousy.  It was the seed that poisoned a domino effect of actions.  The poor victim often doesn't even know that it was because they have a talent or a trait that inspires jealousy.

It often works well for the bully because they have diminished their target and the talent is now secondary.  Of course, bullying does not always start out with jealousy but it's something we should watch for in our kids.  Some kids just have a more jealous streak than others.

Jealousy, like so many of the challenging traits we're all born with, can be identified and worked on.  It's also one of those traits that you have to be aware of and work on for your entire lifetime.  One of the most satisfying things I have heard as a parent, is one of my children saying, "Oh, I know why I'm so mad.  I'm just jealous."   I applaud that because as long as they know, they won't make others suffer for this mean spirited emotion.

And who hasn't been jealous?  It's something that most of us can relate to and it's a matter of degrees.  (I have to admit to being jealous over people's beautiful houses and I'm not even a material person, necessarily.  It's just that I don't have the domestic talent to pull it off and I have to keep my jealousy in check.)

It's a good thing to explain to kids when they're little.  Thanks to the Berenstein Bears for giving it a name.  Give your kids a big hug when they say, "I'm feeling like the Green-Eyed Monster!"  because once they call it out, the monster moves on.

"We Have Your Back, Miss Klein."

It's nice to know the Marines have our back even when they're home.

I got a lump in my throat when I saw this and realized I had to put it up on the 4th of July.

Nice to see the outpouring of support Ms. Klein received.  Makes you feel that decency is not a thing of the past.

This message from the U.S. Marines from Fort Meade to bullied grandmother Karen Klein might make an impact on your kids if you suspect they might be the bully.   And if they're the one that's bullied, it might be nice for them to see that there are strong people ready to step up to help.  Hoo Ra.

An Elephant in the Room: Reality TV and Bullying

NPR's story: Facing Up  to Bullying Everywhere but on Reality TV brings up something that has bothered my for the past several years.

How is it possible to even make a dent in the bullying issue in schools when kids and parents are watching reality TV?  Reality TV not only makes “mean” acceptable, it glorifies mean behavior.

A common thing I still hear is, “Bullying has been around forever.  Kids just have to buck up.”

Bullying has been around forever.  True.  But first of all, that doesn’t make it any less horrible…and secondly,  it wasn’t seen as “cool” so pervasively and I think we have reality TV to thank in part for that.

And it’s not just kids watching.  It’s parents watching Jersey Shore,  Real Housewives of Everywhere, etc., etc.  Even the cooking shows are mean!  Cupcake Wars.  Really?  Our society has gotten to the point where we can make a cupcake a weapon?  I almost feel sick that we’ve pushed the boundaries so far that now it’s “normal.”

People are afraid of entertainment executives.  Me included.  We should be afraid of a group of people who sit around a room together and decide how to make people cry for fun.  

I only have two pieces of advice.  Turn off the TV…and two, explain to your kids that mean should not be their “reality.” And maybe there's a third.  If you feel the same way I do, send the message any way you can that television has gone too far. 

When You Want to Choke Your Child's Facebook Bully

How many can relate to the mom from St. Petersburg, Florida who was arrested last week for choking her daughter's online tormentor?

From the NY Daily News Report:

"I just snapped," Piscitella wrote on Facebook. "Yes I shouldn't have done that, but you all do not even come close to understanding all the torment they have put my child through."

Piscitella said the boy wrote "disgusting" comments below a photo of her daughter, calling her “a fat f---ing whale” who “didn’t deserve to live because she is so nasty that he wouldn’t even rape her.”

"When someone is CONSTANTLY BULLYING YOUR DAUGHTER for no reason what so ever and NOTHING is done about it EVER is that ok?" Piscitella wrote, adding that her husband had reached out to the student to ask him to stop commenting about their daughter and been met with obscenities.
"It was just vulgar," the girl's father Jim Piscitella told the Times. "It's just mean."

A few hours after the incident Piscitella was arrested on a charge of child abuse, but she was released on bail on Tuesday. The boy’s mother decided to press charges after seeing red marks on her son’s neck.

It's actually hard for me to read this story and not want to be violent myself...and to be honest, I'm a pretty mellow person.

What drives me insane is that the boy's "red marks on his neck" may be nothing compared to the scars on this girl's -- and mother's (and probably father's) hearts. It will be a horrible memory for the rest of their lives.  No one ever talks about the long tail of pain -- and now embarrassment -- that this family feels because this boy has crossed every line possible when it comes to civility.

Debbie regrets what she did which brings up another really important issue.  We tell kids to tell their parents or another trusted adult.  In this case, the daughter told her mother and it didn't end well.  This is one of the most important gaps in bullying prevention efforts.  Most adults are well-meaning...but we don't always know how to handle this emotionally filled and complicated issue.  Kids don't tell adults because they fear things will get worse and they are often right.

Kathryn Otoshi, award-winning author of One, and I developed the Be the One Go-To Adult certificate and tips for parents of kids in K-5 and there is additional advice on what parents of older kids can do.

Many of us can relate to how Debbie reacted but we can learn from it, too.  After this horrible incident, what's her advice?  Go through the proper channels...and monitor your kids on Facebook.  (But she had something interesting to say about the proper channels, which she says she tried first.  "They have all these bullying laws but when it comes down to it, it falls on deaf ears."  Do you hear that schools?  These laws will backfire if we don't start training administrators and teachers about bulling -- offline and online.)

If there is anyone who has watched their child be demeaned and emotionally crushed, I think you can relate to the rage Debbie Piscitella felt when she saw that boy.  Of course, I'm not saying she should have choked him.  I'm saying that I understand the pure anger she must have felt at that moment.

For anyone going through something similar, you have my empathy.

Fat Boy Chronicles

Ever since reading the delightful and insightful Fat Boy Chronicles by Diane Lang and Michael Buchanan,  I can't stop thinking about it and why it hits home for me.  The main character, Jimmy Winterpock is an overweight boy who lets us into his high school life through journal entries, an assignment given to his entire class by an enlightened teacher.  The teacher tells them that if they write something they don't want her to read, then to fold the page over and she won't read it.   Of course, those are the journal entries that draw you in and make you remember every nuance of high school life. (At one point, I felt like I was in gym class again right along with Jimmy.)

Why do I think this is a great resource for kids, parents and teachers?  Although Jimmy is relentlessly teased about his weight (and everyone in the bullying prevention field knows that overweight kids are teased more), you get to know who he is, how his family works, overcoming humiliation, the turmoil that some of the kids with less visible imperfections experience, and the sometimes funny and often poignant journey of a teenager.

I love Jimmy Winterpock...and I suspect if you read the book and/or watch the movie (now available on DVD and at stores like Walmart and through Net Flix) you'll love him, too.  If you're a teacher, curriculum is available and there are at least a dozen lessons hidden in the storyline.  Of course, it's about bullying but it's also about parenting styles, the value of a good teacher, character, silent pain, the need for friendship and connection, sibling relationships, love, perspective, motivation, humor and the bravery of getting through four of the most confusing times in a person's life -- high school.

When I spoke to co-author Michael Buchanan, he told me that Fat Boy Chronicles is based on a true story.  I wasn't surprised.  Michael was kind enough to answer these questions:

1.)  Why do you think the Fat Boy Chronicles resonate so much for kids AND adults?

Even though the main character is an overweight boy, Diane and I wanted to point out that everyone has something that weighs on their soul. And regardless of how popular you are, or may have been, in school, there are those dark days in which you felt alone. We all understand that. With the response we have received, it seems that everyone sees themselves in the story. We’ve had people in their 70s tell us about events in their childhood that left a permanent scar on their heart, and kids will come up after a school talk to tearfully tell us how they are treated. Just like Atticus Finch said, “You never really know a man until you walk around in his shoes for a day.” To see the world through the eyes of Jimmy helps others understand how their actions, or lack thereof, can affect a life forever. It causes reflection on the moments when we were the victim, bystander or bully.

2.)  What do you want the book and the film to accomplish?

We want the book and movie to continue to create empathy for those feeling left out of the world. Both versions have been out long enough for us to have received many emails and comments about how the book and/or movie have changed behavior. Whether that change is to be healthier, speak up for someone who is a victim or stop being a bully, we have seen the impact Jimmy Winterpock makes on people, young and old. For those who are the bystander: heroes can be any age—a simple act of kindness today can mean more than you could ever imagine, perhaps for the rest of their life.


And, most importantly, we want anyone who reads or watches the story to know that they are not alone, that tomorrow can be better, and that they, just like Jimmy, should never give up hope.




My best friend in high school -- Kevin Bittles -- was a lot like Jimmy. Kevin was a bit chunky, a little shy, but in his own way, the most mature, good-natured person I ever met.  He saved me from the feeling of being an outsider.  Underneath it all, he was comfortable with being himself.  He allowed me to be light-hearted by being 100% genuine in his friendship.  Kevin didn't make it to his 18th birthday (unfortunately, he lost his life in a car accident during a cross country trip) but Fat Boy Chronicles gave me comfort and made me smile because the world needs more Jimmys and more Kevins.


Thank you Diane and Michael for letting us get to know Jimmy and reminding us about the power of empathy.