International Bullying Prevention Conference

If you're reading this, you're probably already interested in doing something about bullying and cyberbullying. The statistics are staggering but the reality of the pain it causes to kids, families and schools is mind blowing.

Schools and counselors know what a tangled messy issue it is but don't have all the resources they need to turn this issue around in their schools. Instead of being angry at schools for not doing the right thing, we need to step up and help.

An opportunity is approaching. The International Bullying Prevention Assoc. conference is coming up in early November (Nov. 6-8) in New Orleans. Everyone can attend this conference and it will not disappoint. Experts from around the world representing every side of this toxic problem will converge over these couple of days to discuss the newest research about what it is and what works to help stop it. (If you have to fly, the airfare to New Orleans is worth it because the conference is very reasonably priced at $250 for non-members.)

When I became interested in this topic, I went to the conference when it was held several years ago in Indianapolis. I came away with more knowledge in two days than I could have gotten in a year. The world renowned speakers are there to inform and inspire and the workshops give school administrators, teachers, law enforcement, counselors, and superintendents hands on tools to take back to their communities.

In addition, the event will include “Bullying Prevention 101,” a day-long workshop where participants will learn specific techniques and strategies that will help them develop a great understanding of offline and online bullying behavior and learn practical ways to ensure that their schools have peaceful learning environments where positive and respectful behaviors are practiced.

If you want to do something good for your child, student and school, recommend this conference. We don't have to talk about how bad bullying is, we can learn from experts and each other and take the information back to our schools -- and stop accepting this type of school climate.

If You're Working on Bullying Prevention...Keep Going!

Do you ever wonder if this is worth the effort? In the Northeast, it's the end of the school year. Principals, teachers, counselors...and yes, parents...are exhausted. If you've been working or volunteering your time to help kids learn how to treat each other better...or to help those who have already been the target, rest for a bit. And then, KEEP GOING.

I applaud you for taking this on. The other day, I was thinking "Why do I do this?" I'd be happier renting kayaks or something equally simple and carefree. Bullying prevention is one complicated discouraging difficult task.

But then I came home and saw this article in U.S. News and World Report about the long term effects of bullying. It didn't surprise me because people in their 60's, 70's and even 80's talk to me about their childhood bullying experiences. (Believe it or not, the ones who were the bully feel as bad as the targets.)

I have to agree with Dr. Strayhorn in the U.S. News article:

Being the target of a bully involves real suffering," Dr. Earlene Strayhorn, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Loyola University, said in a university news release. "The constant stress of physical assaults, threats, coercion and intimidation can take a heavy toll on a child's psyche over time. The abuse may end at some point but the psychological, developmental, social and emotional damage can linger for years, if not a lifetime.

So take a dip in the pool, enjoy the sun, eat guacamole and tortilla chips and get your energy back. Kids need you.

Don't Let Anyone Call You Stupid: A Lesson in Bullying Prevention from Michael Angelakos and P.S. 22

(If you saw the Oscars last night, you'll understand why I am re-posting this story about the boy from P.S. 22 who needed a kind word and a little reinforcement from a compassionate adult. The adult who paid attention just happened to be Passon Pit's lead singer Michael Angelakos. This little boy is probably now in middle school but hopefully Michael's words will stick with him throughout life. And just as a side note, I was proud of the Academy for including Staten Island's pride and joy!)

Experts agree that the role of the "bystander" is key in blunting the affects of bullying. The Center for Social and Emotional Education and other experts in the field refer to the key role of the bystander as the upstander, to indicate that standing "by" is not helpful...but standing "up" can make all the difference.

You could just be minding your own business and WHAM, there's a need to step up and support someone who is being mistreated. In that moment, a decision has to be made. Do I step in to the problem or do I just let that person/child fend for themselves? Do I care enough to lend a sympathetic ear, or tell the bully to "stop," or get additional help... or do I just stand by?

During this recording with the chorus from P.S. 22, Michael Angelakos, lead singer of the award-winning band Passion Pit, proved he is an UPSTANDER. In under 30 seconds, he could have possibly changed this lucky child's life.

Do we have to be a celebrity to be an upstander? No way. In that moment and in that child's eyes, it's extremely likely that Angelakos was just a person saying the right thing at the right time.

So to every upstander out there, ROCK ON.

Bullying: Demi Lovato is an UPSTANDER!

Demi Lovato hearts Kelly Clarkson, and Bill O'Reilly hearts Demi Lovato

(Click on link above and scroll to short 2nd video to see Demi's advice to kids about bullying.)

Good girl, Demi. You haven't backed down from your message. A couple of years ago when you were really young, you were public about the bullying you received. That must have been hard as a young teen to be so vocal about something that is so diminishing. But you didn't stop there and now that you're (almost) 18 -- Happy Birthday tomorrow, btw -- you're still getting the message out there. It's a brave and kind and very thoughtful way to use your celebrityhood.

Demi Lovato is an UPSTANDER!

Thanks, Demi, for encouraging adults and kids to step up and say "It's Not O.K." It's also good advice to" Tell someone"...and so for all those "someones" out there, including parents, teachers, peers, coaches, counselors, aunts, uncles, grandparents and any adult with a brain and a heart, Listen Up! Validate! Follow UP! Be Compassionate.

You may never know how much a difference you're making but know that being an upstander can change someone's life. And when you do something cool like helping someone who needs to feel ok about themselves, do something good for yourself. Pat yourself on the back, get a double latte and tell yourself you're a superhero even though no one can see your cape.