Is Television Making Us Bullies?

There is one big factor in the bullying conversation that hasn't made it's way into all the media attention. It's the media.

I like reality shows as much as the next shallow person but there's SO much of it! I actually heard Bobby Flay call a weeping young chef out on a food challenge show, telling her that her cupcakes were crumbly and this is the FOOD Network, not the FUN Network. I thought food was supposed to be fun.

(I don't want to necessarily pick on The Food Network because I had hours of joy watching it with my beloved mother-in-law during the last year of her life, but I think she would even say that some of the shows have gotten a little too mean-spirited. God save the poor chef who doesn't know what to do with the secret ingredient!)

But food competitions are the least of it. Just turn on Bravo or MTV and hold on to your seats. All fun and games until you realize that kids are watching the same shows: Jersey Shore, The Housewives of Everywhere, etc., etc. Screaming, cursing, hitting, stomping, blasting, blood vessels popping and manic texting.

This is what concerns me. We can deliver great school programs to help combat peer to peer cruelty from elementary school on up, but what is really influencing our kids and our culture? How do we stop this deluge of mean?

And as a side note, some of these programmers are getting in on the bullying prevention band wagon, but is that a good idea, either? Here's author and expert Rosalind Wiseman's blog post about the rather odd partnership with the NEA (National Education Association), the Creative Coalition and the WWE.

I'd really welcome your thoughts.

Follow up on GMA Story

Not So Kid-Friendly Web Sites

Think about this. It's CRAZY young kids on NICK.com (often 10 and under) can link to REALLY inappropriate games on AddictingGames.com (owned by Nickelodeon's parent company?!).

To be fair, I don't want to pick on NICK but it's a good example. Although there's a warning that you're leaving the Nickelodeon site, it disappears in 5 seconds. Secondly, there's a "bomb" icon that comes up when a game appears that's not appropriate. But if a child is linking and the parent THINKS they're on the NICK site, it doesn't help.

It's a new "parenting screen issue." What's that you ask? I made it up, but it's when you assume you're safe letting your child watch anything or interact with anything on a screen that you think is totally fine, like a football game on tv. Then the most bizarre and violent promo comes up for one of the lame network shows that you wouldn't let your child near. But the network took that decision from you and showed them :30 of it anyway. And since it happened so fast, you're racing to find the right button on the remote or your leaping over furniture to turn off the tv. But it's too late because they've already seen it and they're a little freaked out watching their parent overreact.

Now "linking" is doing the same thing. And when they're under 10 you don't want them to grow up too fast but you do want them to develop good judgment. So let them know about "leaving sites and entering a new site" and talk about all the tricks that Web sites have. Maybe even have a laugh and tell them how they're already more mature than the so called "adults" that produce tv shows or create vile links.

And keep talking so they talk back (in a good way) and tell you things, like when they stumble over something that they're embarrassed about or if someone says something bad to them online. They'll know you have respect for their judgment and empathy for them because it's not their fault.

They're 10 and under. They deserve to be kids.